catch a breath

just when i think im over
you reappear
a name linked to you
a sound reminisicint
of what u do rings in
my ear translates
directs the feeling to the pit
of me
my chest constricts
and i
find it hard to
inhale
hard to ex
hard to
breathe
slowly
paper bags to mouth
pushing out what remains
i think too much that's
what you used to say
but i can't stop
thinking about
u long enough
to regain my composure
re-gain my posture
inhale deep enough
to breathe
like i should be able to
with
or
with-out
you.

i scat my thoughts into
a rhythm my heart can follow
try to jumpstart myself

so i can catch a beat
catch a breath
again.

(c)2008 jamilaj

i found out this girl is pregnant by someone close 2 u. why does it matter? but it reminds me of u. so it made me think of u and how that could be me and u. but it's not. fuck.