i gotta get away....

for some reason i understand the urge to run. at times I've been accused of running. I do it all the time, mentally. I only made actual steps to move my body in January when i decided to do a 10K.

i understand why others want to run. My mom used to do it when she got mad at my dad.. She'd punctuate the night with a scream and a slam of the door and disappear into the Brooklyn or VA night. In NY, in the beginning, my dad used to go after my mom. But eventually, he stopped. She always returned, hopefully a little calmer after "walking it off" but my mom is a runner. I learn my skills from her. (If you're from NY, did you ever see those ads where the parent ask the kids where they learned to do drugs and the kid screams back " I LEARNED IT FROM YOU!" in retrospect the acting was hilarious! ) Later on, my mom would accuse me of always running when shit got serious. It's true. When i had my own place to run to, after visiting my mom and tensions got high, I found solace in being able to run to my own little nest.

My Mom, always threatened to run away and desert the family. Start a new life in a new location and forget all her worries and problems. She threatened it so much, when i got older i wished she would do as my dad told my sister once and "Follow Through then Dammit! Stop talking about it and do it!" that was another more serious situation. But still the same the advice applies. After awhile, the threats of leaving became like a joke. But, when i was younger it scared the shit out of me. My mom was going to leave me with my stepfather, a man i despised in my younger years and who i thought was inadequately able to take care of me. Please don't LEAVE! ! ! ! but uhm.. she never did.. As a matter of fact, she still threatens to leave. I'm almost tempted to follow through with my taunts of getting a song deal and buying her a Harley so she can follow through.

But all that to say, My "Man Friend" called me on Friday evening/Saturday morning to let me know "they" found the "runaway bride" and the whole story pissed me off. Before the reports were out, I surmised that she had concoted this great last minute thing where she was actually holed up in Mexico with two Mandigo warriors with 13inch Dicks, getting her last and final orgy on before she commited herself to the American Dream. Needless to say Man Friend didn't believe my story. But there was I believed, some truth in my tale.

I did believe she ran away cuz she was scared and was hoping to return just in time after she got her head together to get married on saturday morning. Thus, the reason why she was calling on Friday night/Saturday Morning. But deary watches too many hollywood fairytales. In the movies, you can return at midnight and get married at 8am. In reality, when you make claims like you were kidnapped by two people and your holed up in New Mexico of all places, well you got shit like the federali to deal with.. and they ain't to happy. This is not a motion picture this is CNN, MSNBC, FOX and the like all up in your blanket head covered ass.. and.. uhm.. things don't flow so easily after the I'm fine-stop looking for me-i cut my hair and placed it in the forest-i'm sorry i left-i'm ready to be your peon of a wife and submit to your fantasy and of course your overbearing mother who paid all this gotdamned money-bring on the goodtimes and the hoopla that follows-call.

Man Friend, He didn't believe me. Asked me how i knew she ran away.. and my theory? That there are a million woman who would love to do the same thing. Are so scared, they'd want to do it, but never do. At least we don't hear about it, not to the level that CNN is involved. But they are out there. Hell I'd do, but it wouldn't be to Vegas and there'd be some TD'd lovely brown men involved. If your gonna do it, do it right. ;)

Needles to say, I got a call on Saturday morning at around 8am letting me know i was right. That chica did run away, and i was disgusted at her lack of thought and planning. Not mad at her for leaving, cuz as you know, J understands, I just hope she got her kicks off route 66. Cuz if Mr. America does finally marry her, i can see her sporting it Martha Stewart style ankle jewelry and all. But then again, if your family has enough loot to spring for 600 strangers to watch your intimate moments then, hell they can afford a digital angel to keep her whereabouts known at all times. Trust, if she ran once, she can run again. I just hope she had a good time, at least one good strong scream to god -shame your mama-your fiancee doesn't know what kind of freak you really are- O for ol'times sake. ;)

J :)