tonight

tonight we shall perform last rites
over the corpse of this relationship
tonight i will scream and i will cry
mourning is best in the prime of it
tonight i will mourn the dead
before the funeral arrives
for tonight
i will release your spirit
from haunting mine....
Copyright (C)2003 Jamila J

some more bad poetry.. but i realize... that the essence of this lesson lies not in the answers i will not receive from mute lips but from the fact that I don't think i deserve better..Until i realize this. I will be stuck in a holding pattern. Holding on to a nonexistant relationship hoping for something to pop up and happen.. and it may never happen.. but as long as i think that perhaps this might be my only chance. I will forever be a prisoner of this man's evil games.. let me tell you what else is evil.. The fact that he asked me to be patient with him.. DRiving in my CAR.. my car!!!! did i tell you i got my car back!!!! but while crusing.. i realized that in july i asked him to be patient with me.. and he laughed.. gaffawed.. sniffed.. made some lude sound that was not in agreement.. and i settled that it was time to move on then.. but somehow i came back... i am marhmallow hearted.. forget soft.. but now i wonder if i should be the one laughing.. be patient.. what do i have that will keep me until the next time? cut convo, shady interludes if that and uninterested voices on my phone.. does this sound like something worth holding on to...

tonight i will think on these things.. but it seems i've been simmering for a few weeks now... i wonder how many times i will say i need to move on or at least develop a life of my own b4 i actually go ahead and do it? how many times will you play the fool???