but first a few wordz from our sponser....
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
-"My Immortal" Evanescence-Fallen(cd)
in yesterdays convo i asked if i should stop calling and wait to be called since i always seem to be calling at bad times.(aka rehersals, studio sessions, more rehersals, i wish i was catching him with someone else i'd feel justified but sadly i hear there is no one else.. just that bitch music.. she's a two timer.. i love her too... damn). (I was being sarcastic) I was told yes... and though i feel the need to bring out my latent yet currently flaming inner bitch.. i resist...
My friend says we should watch and wait and see... how long it takes for a call to actually come in my direction. I'm betting a month... she thinks shorter.. i doubt it.. i even began to wager 2 months.. but we shall seeee... TODAY is day 1 (one).
this is also the day i retrain my focus back to loving me.. i was doing such a good job a year and a half ago when i was living alone and mad happy... oh well... i guess i lost something along the way..must have if the lack of attention from one person could direct all my attention away from myself and my purpose and make me feel like crying... over them... oh well.. i better get this crying nonsense out the way.. i haven't actually cried.. i despise crying... but i think i better do it so i can move on...
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