this is not the place

people to me are amazing. these words here, anywhere. are not the culmination of me. I take poetic license everywhere.. it's what i do. it's what writers do. Not saying that im lying but im not fully giving all of me on here.

it's on purpose. at my core im private. letting out pieces of me. is just an exercise in trying to not be so closed up. But sometimes that shit bites you in your flat ass.

my once boyfriend used to read my blog. people he knows read it. they used to talk to him about it from what i hear. it's like being a minor celebrity. but this is not concrete loop. if you've read my blog long enough. my life is pretty boring. but i guess anyone who puts there bits of their life online is asking for it. I just didn't think it'd come to bite me in the ass. That people would take this to heart like my poetry or the songs i write. their is some truth in it but it's not completely me ur seeing. Even then i write in code.

if you don't know me.. you're really not going to know me unless you meet me. my words are only a part of me. I live a life outside of the internet. it's evident in how my posts ebb and flow. sometimes i write more. it's in an effort to be the writer i say i am. Writers write. it's what they do. if your not writing something on a napkin on your hand somewhere you cant call yourself a writer.

but really people. if i write a poem on here or on my myspace page. don't think you know the whole thing. my poems are often conglomerations of people and times and places.. i never really put myself out there.. too afraid of it.. but it's evident by the little bit i've put out there.. people eat that ish up too.

if you want real gossip.. go to www.concreteloop.com it's even endorsed in this months Essence. but im not famous.. would like to be.. would even keep this blog.. but seriously if you know me.. you know reading about me on the internet.. is only a part of me.. my Friends know this.. the rest.. who want to be my friend email me.. luvjam77@gmail.com i don't bite.. i'll write back we can start a real dialouge.

if you want clarification on a post. i might give it to you. depends on how open i feel and if i've been sipping on my bottle of wine or not. :)

but really. any people i deal with who are upset b/c i have placed parts of us on here. i don't really apologize.. being with you is a part of me. if it means that much to me.. it might make it here. but then again.. it might end up in a song or a poem if your that important to me.. it already is. sue me when my royalty checks start coming in.. i'll take you to dinner we'll heal our wounds.

this part is real. my interactions with people are far and few between. im too selective at best. if my words here have hurt you im sorry. but i've loved. i've hurt too. everyone needs an outlet.. and really.. i didn't think people were REALLY reading this like the daily news. it's cool that people think that that we were that cool to keep up with us on here.. maybe we were. :)

i guess if you carry yourself like a mysterious star... people will follow. mystery is sexy. :)

but this is not the place to get all the details or to make complete decisions. leave me a message or send me an email. if you need details... get at me.. you never know.. you don't really know me anyway.. i could be a really sweet nice person with neurotic tendancies a Leo penchant for attention and a Scorpio's mystery.. who knows? i think few do.