crazy shit

almost three years ago today i met my best friend . Oct 29 2003. Wow.

i started this blog almost three years ago after i broke up with a boyfriend of two years . how prolific i become in my sad times. i thought i was going to marry him too (the two ex's) .
welcome to the brokenhearted end of the road anniversary


He still cares about me.. but i don't trust him. I used to love him. He broke my heart.
and now the tables turn. He thought we were going to get married. We used to love. He loved me more than i loved him. I broke his heart.

Why is my karma always in reverse? I don't like being the breakee.. It's easier to be the victim.
Easier to be walked on and feel the resurgence of pride.. Then to feel guilty for being the hurter. (this hurter is not a word)

it's all thoughts in the wind. it's my blog dammit. I can say what i damn well feel. Like you used to know people broke up with you when they gave you your shit back, stopped talking to you, told you they were out with their girlfriend when you called them and you thought you were their girlfriend (true story) but now.. people do things like.. remove you from their number one spot in myspace. Send you nasty text messages or none at all. Cut off your phone services, break up with you over email.. and cell. technology is a b#@$ and she's being abused!

oh well. such is life.
technology or not. I still don't trust people. I still don't really believe i can be loved. I have doubts and insecurities and technology can't do ish about that stuff. except guide me to awebpage with some advice... and to a blog i can share my insides on...

Yeah.. technology... lol.

peace
j