talking holes into the sky

you ever meet wannabee's and realize... why they are still wanting?

I met up with a friend after work last night and hung out with his friends at Friday's talking shit about mainly music and the music in this city. Since I've been living here, I've heard the same discussion from different musicians over and over and over again. They all want to make Richmond the next break out city, there's so much talent here, Atlanta did it, if an artist's wants to make it they have to leave and come back, for some reason... D'angelo is always the example of an artist that made it big, but then nothing came of it afterwards, how negroes have the crab in the basket mentality here and how no one wants to unite and help each other and so therefore we can't rise as a people... blah, blah, blah,blah, blah.....

so much talking... so little action or unity..or albums to speak for the talent, talking or action... or the lack thereof.

why did i hear the real story about why D'angelo and that girl wrecked the car? why is the story so embarrasing i'm afraid to tell it?

why have i met someone who is fascinated with my voice? it's crazy.. i've been told my voice is classic and timeless. The kind of voice you can hear years from now and it never grows old... that was a nice compliment.. This person said the last person to impress them now sings with Kirk Franklin or one of those gospel groups. Now I'm impressed. The crazy thing is.. I don't tell people i sing. But he asked me to.. I stalled (I'm good at that) then the rest of the night.. I could see his brain ticking and he kept telling me how impressed he was.. Then the example came up of others who claim they can sing and then fizzle then fizz.. I had to bring up the fact that i didn't tell him I could sing, even though i knew what he did with music. He asked ME to sing.. different situation. Then i was told i was rare.. that my humbleness was unique..

I'm not so sure it's humbleness. . . it's that latent shy side of me.. the attention is weird when it's unwarranted. I am a Leo, but my roar can be quiet. My need for attention isn't always on 10 and it's crazy to have people all in your face when your chilling. Especially when what you did wasn't AMAZING! at least to yourself.

I told him i didn't think i was that good of a singer.. and i'm not.. But he didn't believe me. I have high standards for myself. I am not a writer or a singer.. I am a girl with gifts i haven't fully developed and even though i know there are people less talented than me making more money.. i know the potential of the gift and i know i'm not using it right now to it's fullest.. besides i am even a bit afraid of it..

so there..

boy am i off track.. i was talking about wannabee's ....
so dude who works at Friday's and is a friend of my friend and an aspiring singer/writer/mc sprinkles his convo with name dropping.. I HATE THAT SHIT! I hate when people talk about the industry and then complain about it. In my humble opinion i've seen the dude perform before and he's aight... (i have high standards i'm not being mean) but aight people make it in the industry. like he told me there is a market for everything . i can just tell he's been burnt a few times.. like he brought up that he's boys with Elliott Yamin.. and how dude was calling him everynight until he met Stevie Wonder now he can't even reach him... I know these are this guys stories.. but to me.. name dropping is not cool.. I dont' go around telling people who i grew up with.. it's annoying.. then they want details.. and my memories are precious to me.. i don't want you traipsing all over my memory garden destroying my flowers because they are daisies and not roses..

but it's all good.. not saying dude isn't a nice person.. he is.. but i guess we all approach situations differently. just my take on it... but then again.. it was after work.. and my mind wasn't clear.. so maybe my perception is off.. :)

or maybe i'm just talking holes into the sky... who knows.. :)

later