i know it's been a minute

but let us talk about a few things.. like.. how i've been up now for almost 24 hours.

my silly as is supposed to be in bed.. what am i doing.. listening to algebra on myspace and writing! WTF.. at least i'm getting a song out of this ish...

lets talk about other things... like how i think i'm being cheated.. i picked up the guitar to assist my songwriting. I had big plans for the new year *wink*wink*
but now i realize.. my teacher has NEVER taught me how to play notes strictly chords.

The cool new thing we are doing is I burned a cd of some of my favorite artist playing acoustically. Bob Marley, Corinne Bailey Rae, India.Arie and a few others....
and he's teaching me how to play these songs.. what did i notice while i fingerd out "Redemption Song"?????? now no spiritual revelation just that.. the song is mainly notes then chords.. so now.. i'm like WOAH! NELLY! Dirrrty if you will.... perhaps i should be learning some single notes so i can step my songwriting game up... i almost feel jipped (is that a word) but all is not lost.. it will all come into place.

**moment of truth** andsomething i've told no one...

my sister... WAS getting married. Dude..flipped said he couldn't do it, said he didn't love her anymore(i thought u nvr stopped luvng!) .. and this asshole waited a week after i bought my nonreturnable dress to change his fucking mind. ahh well..
i think he has somone else.. but who am i? im not allowed to say anything all thought.. i'd like to ruff his arse up.

anyhoo. i realized.. at the point when i knew this whole pomp and circumstance ceremony was no more.. that i had placed some faith in love and that faith was being tested. I really believed that what they had was unique and could work. B/C i didn't understand it. Maybe i still don't know what they really saw in each other. How they knew initally that they were each others ones... cuz after awhile... i placed some faith in the steadfastness and beauty of love in all of my lack of understanding.

Their breakup makes me a bit standoffish and i can't explain it. My "friend" asked me a week after i knew my sisters wedding was off when we were getting married and i couldn't say. I couldn't say i really believed in marriage to begin with and at that moment.. i didn't believe in it at all.

I still haven't given my answer... what is love?

why am i the silly one who made a Jesus Loves Hip Hop Shirt and had it put on special delivery on Zazzle so i could wear it to the dress down easter at church??? :) i can't wait. :) lol