just an observation

i am attracted to the quiet ones... the shy ones, the ones that keep to themselves and watch the crowd.. but i am also attracted to power.. find it oddly .... sexy... intriguing... interesting.. I am attracted to the artistic ones, the ones that transform from the deep loner to the explosive dynamite before your very eyes.. but then i go home.. and realize.. these are not defined enough.. but it's good to know what you like when you see it.. and i saw it.. ;)

on another tangent.
Change is coming.. Change is always coming.. but if i can be honest with you here.. cuz sometimes i am not completely so.. the other day.. that would monday afternoon.. I sat in my car at lunch time and as Charlene went off the radio (you know.. anthony hamilton's charlene!) as it went off.. i boo the heck hooed.. i think i hold too much in.. i've been meaning to physically write n my journal.. i don't take time to do it.. i've been meaning to meditate when i arise.. i usually wake up late. . . i 've been meaning to pray more.. i do that.. ALL the time.. Ive been meaning to run in the morning.. I wake up late.. then i get home after 9 or 10 every night. and i am NOT running then..
i need so much.. and not even in the sense of love or relationships.. i need a place to live.. that feels like, that is HOME!.. it is rare in my entire life that i have lived anywhere that felt like home.. but right now..i need to be able to enter a space every night that is purely me.. and comfortable.. the kind of place your friends come to visit and never want to leave.. the kind of space people tell you when they enter.. is "warm" that i need. so i've been needing so much and not receiving.. i gave up.. i gave in.. i released it all.. and it's bad right.. cuz i had to get back to work.. then my friend came by..and he saw me crying.. and he got kinda mad.. that he saw me like that, that i had to get to that point.. that i let stuff build up inside of me so much im boo hooing int he parking lot at noon..but i couldn't even give the cause of my outpouring.. i just needed to cry.. nothing had happened immediately after or before to cause me to feel that way.. but his hug.. was the best thing ever for me ...

but today.. even with a almost 5 inch lug in my tire this morning.. i got it fixed for FREE.. and i realize.. change i coming.. my life is about to change in so many ways.. and i am ready..

so that's all im nodding off.. it's 2:14 am.. but i must say.. when u get a chance.. check out www.lyricave.com then you can see where i spend alot of spare time during weekdays rehearsing..

peace and blessings children :)
jw