I don't believe it's time

Ive heard over and over, that it's time that heals a broken heart and i don't believe that... I think it's more like distance and a change of mind.. Replacing all of those constant thoughts of him with more of me and that guiding spirit. I wasted alot of time. But at the same time. I am struck by a quote i know and he said to me once.. "People are in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime and when you figure out which one that person is there for you can act accordingly"

I read it several times in Iyanla Vanzants Acts of Faith book i've had since like 93... the pages are dogged and that quote remains the same.. What i can't get over is this man telling me when i didn't want to hear it.. That i am all of these things to him.. And i didn't believe it when he said it... Is that possible? and at the time right now i don't think so.. I think he had a reason and a seaon.. He has become Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde.. A Lifetime? I don't need somtimey people in my life forever. I don't need people taking out their frustrations on me when they are being tried by life.. But only time can truly tell if this is a lifetime relationship.. He doesn't seem capable of that right now.. But I say all that to say.. That this breakup.. I find is easier to handle when I call and find out that HE is not happy. IF he was happy.. I'd be pissed. IF he was enjoying his new girlfriend and life.. I'd be really pissed for wasting my time all these months.. But everytime I call shit gets worse.. And for a moment i feel justified.. That he is not having a good time either.. But then My Good Conscience slides in and I pray for him... Really... No one deserves to be so distraught and confused.. My friends and family want me to hate him.. But i can't.

If only you knew.. It's not time.. IT's growing and a change of perspective that heal a broken heart... Time.. just is...