slowly surely

i am starting to loose interest in keeping this up...
maybe i need a new background or a new life or both
Or perhaps it's just my mood lately.. but i'm tired.
i'm unsure. I'm PISSED!
i've had my car back from the shop for about 2 weeks now..
I got into accident yesterday.. messed up my front end, my hoods all bent... PISSED!! the thing is... I knew it was going to happen. These are not the things we think about or talk about much to anyone... among family it's the norm it's accepted.. it's not talked about.. that my sister..knows things... that my mother knows things.. That I... know things... so i knew that after i got my car back.. that i'd get into an accident.. i tried not to think about it, tried to be positive.... BUT!
the first thing i told my sister yesterday morning was... "Today is going to be fucked up!" and i hadn't even left the house yet, i was still in the bathroom, brushing my teeth in a towel.. and nothing had gone wrong at all...

but all day.. accidents kept happening around me.. i had even gone to the body shop to get my brakes they supposedly fixed checked out.. they said they were fine.. of course they would... a truck almost hit me on the way to work.. and something told me to stay home.. but i was like.. i can't do that.. i'm being responsible here, besides what the hell would i do at home all day???
but a kid ran in front of my car and that was before it startd raining.. a two car collision on another street.. .things kept happening and thought nothing of it... until i had to get my sister from school and take her to work.. on the way to work.. I rear ended a LAND ROVER in my Stratus.. WTF!?! ?she stopped short to make a left, it had just started raining.. that is my story..that is the truth... and i was shaken.. my sister who is usually the leaf in the wind was telling ME to calm down.. but all i could think was this is messed up and i knew it was going to happen.. she didn't say anything.. but my friends kept asking me how i knew and my mom. .MY mother.. told me that when i got that "message" to stay home. That i should have stayed home... crazy... so next time.. i get a message that clear i am not going to ignore it. I'll stay home and watch Brown sugar and surf the net or something.. sleep.. but i won't go a damn place.. the next time.. something tells me to stay put..

so that is my story.. and i don't feel like writing more..