Masturbation to End War: Masturbate for Peace

Masturbation to End War: Masturbate for Peace

Why are these people really serious?

Ok.. so i know i haven't written in a while.. it's the cycle of my life. Be alive and outloud and then when the winds change and my mood dictates I withdraw, watch from a distance, absorb the world around me and start to write more in my journal... my private one. The one that requires a pen.

Well.. I have actually gone a week without calling my 'boyfriend' i made this decision, silently, made it to myself. B/C when you say things outloud, they tend to lose their power. So i was determined last monday not to call at all. Got to work and got a IM from him.. we didn't say much, acted silly. But that was it. And as the week progressed I felt fine. My need for attention was dampned. Meaning, I didn't feel it as strong. The need to be close to someone has not dissappeared. But really what can you do? I realized my attention was focused in the wrong direction.

I started burning candles, sending out positive energy, praying to spirit, mother and father god, whomever would listen, and whatever felt right. Praying to... scratch that trying to build a friendship with a higher power and burning candles, kept me at peace. I wanted some more uplifting/inspirational music, and can't stand preachy gospel. So i have found some neo soul type gospel and the Believe Cd from Yolanda Adams that i really like. I think i played that all week. It has some things on there i need to here and ingrain. My power of faith and belief are weeeeeeeak. I don't believe much and faith is shot. So i worked on that. Tried to put my faith and belief in the right things.. So not having a phone call from a said someone or making 12.. was a non-issue. I needed some time for me. I took it. No harm. It seems others are doing the same.

So i finished the week, with a new friend, a sense of peace, and a closer relationship with the ebb and flow. We are not going into the new friend thing. You can always use new friends, and this one is mad cool. I only like mad cool people. so it works. ;)

So why today at 1:40am on Monday Morning am I looking up self love.. Cuz i can't sleep and you gotta put something into Google. Didn't think this masturbation for peace site would be the first one i'd find.. but it's interesting to see what people put out there on the web.. Imagine .. there are tons of things i'm missing.. hah! i don't think i'm adding this to my new self-love repitoire.. New music, nuturing my own soul and spreading good vibes.. is good for now... anything else i'm keeping to myself and not singing a petition for it either..