Can't keep running away..

Does anyone but me remember that song? I can't remember the artist right now, I believe it was the Pharcyde..

anyway.. i was reading another post of mine, where i said my mother commented that i was a pack rat.. well last night she told me I was a baby, because i always ran away when trouble came.. And she might be right..

But i have a good explanation... I was in the room with her and my sister and I realized.. I couldn't do a damn thing to help them.. Did you really want me to stay?? Selfishly I was trying to chill after helping a friend move last night, all i wanted to do was watch Making the Band.. no matter how bad Da Band is... i wanted to watch it.. You can't watch tv in a room with arguing, crying and screaming people.. so i left.. This issue didn't involve me, why stay?

But as i thought about that, i bet my mother wouldn't say I was always using escapism techniques if she saw how tight i was holding on to a dying/fading/unsure relationship... For that feat i consider my tenacity that of a pit bull... But! people always are always going to be selfish as much as they say they are not.. EVERYONE does things that will help them in some way, form or fashion.. They may say they just came to help you, but in the back of their minds they are hoping that the next time they need help, you will look out for them... I feel she only wanted me in the room as a mediator.. These women can't really communicate to each other i need to be an interpreter or something ... my only reason for staying in that room would have been to make peace so that i could be in peace.. that's selfish when it's clear these two people have issues they need to resolve that don't involve me... so i guess she's right.. I ran..

but sometimes.. you gotta..