Birthdays, camera's, wishes and God

eBay item 2945162901 (Ends Aug-16-03 13:50:37 PDT) - Nikon N80 USA Body only "MINT Condition"

I sometimes wonder if my aims are all selfdefeating.. My birthday is tomorrow.. Don't ask which one.. i'd like to repeat 1 or 2 so that I won't be as close to 30 as i soon will be.. But the fact remains that time, God and my jackass.. (cuz i haven't renamed him yet) won't allow me to digress.. only progress in age.. so i guesss maybe my actions better follow suit. like maybe i better get serious about a career path or something.. i won't be in my 20's for too much longer. x2.. so..
back to my aims.. My mother asked me what i wanted for my birthday the other day and I never know what i want for my birthday.. It's usually the same things, dinner, music, books.. But I would really like i don't want to or don't know how to ask for..Like starting low and going up.. I'd like a Nikon N80 camera.. really i've wanted one for awhile but things like this i think are better if you get them yourself... I want a few million dollars, my credit cleared, my school loans to disappear and be magically paid. I want to go back to school and finish and get something that will my make self esteem feel a little better.. i want a songwriting deal.. I would like someone to heal all the cracks in my soul and perhaps find a stable someone to compliment my sometimes off key harmony.. :) see.. things like this you can't ask for, unless your asking God, and your supposed to be able to ask God anything.. but sometimes I wonder if God laughs if you ask if you can win the BigGame or the Lottery.. I'm like Gee God, If you let me win a few million now, I won't be asking for money later on, just the emotional stuff.. Hah! I wonder if that's a deal God would be willing to work out for me.. :)

I don't know.. but this is one of thos things, if you don't ask for it, You'll never know.. The thing is I know what people are working with, why ask for the impossible, especially when this is something I want to do on my own.. well at least the camera.. so... we shall see. If you see me in a few days and I'm not complaining about work or this camera or never write again about my school loans well.. you'll know God stopped laughing long enough to bless me.. ;)