PostSecrets

Have you ever been to PostSecret? its a blog where people send in their secrets on Postcards and the editor will Post them online. There are two books of people's secrets.. Some are hilarious, some downright depressing and some right on point..

So i thought, if i had to write a PostSecret, what would I write?

Today, I was feeling kinda lonely,down, on the opposite side of the smiling posse...Just Sad.

And, It finally dawned on me.. my Secret Post today would read something like...

I almost feel guilty that the only person I call when I'm feeling down is my grandmother. She's the only person in the world that makes me feel like I'm not alone, and can make me feel better. But, I think I mostly call her b/c I keep imagining that if she's not here, I won't have anyone to call and I'd feel guilty for never calling enough when she was around.

I called my grandmother in tears today.. not because i felt guilty. But, because I needed to cry and calling my friends did nothing for me. But, after I talked to her I felt fine.. There's no guilt in calling my kindred spirit. It's funny at times. Because talking to her is like talking to myself. Our lives are so parallel it's odd. We are the same child in the family line. (The oldest daughter) We are both people that try to make people happy, but often times are alone and sad. We've had the same life experiences (childhood stepfather, evil people etc..) and my mom always said I kept my house like my grandmothers.. weird.. but comforting. I'm not the only one in the world like me.. and today I needed to know that was ok...

peace,

j

:)