alright

listening to Ledisi

if i put as much energy into the other aspects of my life as i have put into obsessing and regurgitating my negative life patterns. I'd be in a whole'nother atmosphere. I've been thinking lately about the power of the mind. The power of perception. The power of thoughts. the power of me to attack one thing like a pitbull till either they give in or i give up. I'm Tenacious J like that. But, today/ lately while driving i've been taking stock of the people, places and things i've been spending energy on that don't care or don't matter. when i should be focus on my elevation. I've been stagnant of late. if i can be as tenacious with my creative pursuits. i'd have no time for the bs/ the bs'ers or the energy it drains from me.

i feel so tired lately. i'm tired from working from am to pm. (which is another story...why don't certain people appreciate how much of a dedicated person you can be???) but im just tired lately. tired of working too hard on the wrong things, the wrong people, the wrong situations. im not who i used to be nor who i thought i'd be. but each day is another day to get back on track. this time of "distraction" is good. it'll help me appreciate the good time that much more. but it also helps me see that i can be a focused, directed person. if only i'd point my compass in the "right" direction....

what feels good is knowing change is on the horizon. i can feel it like knowing Christmas is coming and seeing mommy with that big bag in the back of the car. the one i'm not supposed to touch yet. but i know i asked for something big ......

that knowing feels great...it's like knowing i have my favorite foods in my fridge, my new cd on repeat,a hot bath calling my name and two days of complete nothingness unfolding before me... alright...

ll&h