maybe just maybe...

Note: this is a poem. It's my poem.. Please don't ask me/ write me/ im me or harrass me about it. Unless you have something that will add and not detract from it's meaning. thank you-jjw

how would you feel
if your life isn't the life you think it is
if your man's "friend"
tells you she's having his kids
if he insist they're just friends
if you've moved your heart so far away that he thinks
you don't care
but you're adept at withholding
so he doesn't / never will know what your holding
what if?
you forgot your reasons for why
for being
that you got so good at lying to yourself
when it was time you couldn't even
tell the truth to yourself
begin to believe the words that he says
like maybe you really don't care
but if that was the case
wouldn't you not care
that another she was there
what if?
shits not what you think it is
and the little steps you took to open up your home
make you retreat father away
what if ?
shit gets away from you
you never believe
at night you don't sleep
insomniatic fits keep your mind pacing
keep your heart racing
keep you from properly hating
the person you really should
you
for not believing you
maybe just maybe
you'll be true to you
when the smoke clears
when your fears clear
maybe just maybe
if ...when...
(c)2007 Jamila