ME n You too much

i loved you with blind eyes
and spread eagled heart
the faith of a mustard seed
was planted in my soul for you
that is how much
i would do more than die for you
i would give life for you
i would give birth to
your first son
wanted the honor of being the
earth to nurture your seed
the moon to reflect your blinding light
i
loved you
as purely as
new seedlings
new creatures seeing first light
i was basking so much in you
my soul was tan
people were asking me if my soul was black
and not just my skin
i would pry open my pores so that you could pour
right in
be all up in me
so much i couldn't tell where you started and i
began and we ended
we blended
and i
loved you that much
wanted to be there to inhale when you exhaled and be able to recirculate new breath
fill in the darkness when you blinked so you
always had clear sight
i loved you
too much
i was always fectching new buckets of laughter
in case you ran out..
ready to draw in a new smile
in case you started to frown
ready
to bring you joy
i would do
a n y t h i n g
for you
too much
love i
you
too
m u c h.
b/c when the one you are giving your all to
is no longer there to receive or reciprocate your you back to you
you are left with only remnants of the person you once used to be... and left picking up the pieces
and i you too much
much you
i didn't love me
enough
to not lose me
too much
to not lose all of me
in
you.

(C)2004 jamila j.