i write better when im supposed to be doing something else.. actually im done with my work. but im still at work.. i just got words on my mind.. there not good to hold on.. if i don't release them.. they run rampant through my brain.. making me do strange things.. eventually they come out.. i either.. start talking to myself or find one of my personal human diaries.. something i seriously need to stop.. human diaires are not always a good idea!
trust me I KNOW! ! !
the theme this week remains the same.. relationships.
and how i interact with people in my circle.. this thing is not going to leave me alone!
granted.. i love the feeling of being in love.. could be a love junkie.. could be that im a leo and like that one on one attention.. whatever it is... you can't get it from everyone.. i am just amazed at the idiodicy.. that is allowed to run rampant. My "Friend" said this would happen.. after we parted ways.. he told me they'd come around.. i didn't notice it.. but i was warned.. im blind at times.. i dont' see what i dont' want to see.. what do i mean by that.. here is a prime example... when i met my ex boyfriend.. in my mind.. i was intent on just being his friend.. he had a position of status.. i didn't want to go there.. but friendship was cool with me.. so i was blind to his advances.. i missed alot of things.. alot of innuendos.. i know dude thought i was a dull nail... a faded star.. but.. it's just that i wasn't looking for that stuff.. when i was ready to see.. i felt dumb for a few days.. i had to replay the past few weeks and realize.. i had turned him down like a dozen times! im like that.. i compartmentalize.. so now that im back to square one.. which mind you is a GREAT place to be.. i am learning and loving me.. i am blind to the advances around me.. the people who finally realize.. i can be touched again.. and to be honest.. im kinda offended... i like being able to have guy friends with no sexual issues in the air.. people i can be cool with.. cuz i plan to be just cool with you.. be able to watch movies till 4am and go home not being groped.. im down for that.. but i realize.. it can't be that way.. the hands are coming.. the looks are coming.. they are COMING!! but im not... ;)
it pisses me off when people dont get the message.. so if any of you see this let it be known..... I DONT MESS WITH PEOPLE IN MY CIRCLE I am a private person at times.. and some things.. i like to keep to myself.. everything else.. hell.. you'll see it on my blog ;)
or cryptic like in a poem.
ooops time to go home.. later.. j
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