so.....

if i'm going to this wake thing at work.. i'm gonna be late.. it's supposed to be at 12:30.. it's 12:24 and i'm still wearing my running clothes.. can you tell i don't like wakes?

but i think i need closure. .i just don't like being around sad crying people.. the weight of their pain is heavy.. have i told you i was an empath? google that. and come back to me.. in essence.. i feel pain of others VERY strongly.. it's why i've spent alot of time alone.. not that i'm being anti it' just sometimes you gotta be ready to handle other people's ish. it took me years..to understand that sometimes the emotions that raged through me weren't mine.. had to take notice of me.. notice that i was happy until i walked into the room or that some rooms felt "heavy" or extra of whatever emotion i have some funny stories to tell .. but... they put us in this small room yesterday to tell us more bad news about my co-workers death.. in my mind i was thinking.. can i get out of this tuna can with all you sad motherf'rs? it's depressing and i was the brightest thing in the room .. subconsciously everyone wore black to work.. i had a red shirt on with this pic of the globe and two hands reaching across it... i refuse to be sad.. hey i can keep myself depressed for months.. i don't need other people's heavy emotions weighing my light as a feather happiness. . . even in the wake of a death.. i don't process these things like everyone else..

but let me shower.. i'll make a showing.. show my support then go back into the sun to thank god for another day to live out what he/she has put me out here to do...

peace out homies

and ps.. if you read this.. drop me a line.. i don't bite.. if you have comments, advice or just want to say hi.. i'll respond... feedback is appreciated..

love life and laughter,
j