How do you know when

How do you know when you’ve been visited by a loved one?

My stepfather, died last January. Yesterday, I saw him sitting on my bed.  I want to say I was dreaming. But I wasn’t really.

I had the worst headache all morning. From the point I got up, to church and back. So I took a nap before I was supposed to go to work. In the midst of that “nap”.  My stepfather sat on the edge of the bed next to me. And I can’t even say we were talking. It was all telepathic. He was reassuring me about my choices, my life. And even told me I needed to stop alienating myself from people I cared about. There was a movie like montage of events we had shared in life. But then, I started with a babbling of questions about why.

Why did he leave? He said, He left when it was time. That it was time to go. I’ve always wanted to know if he knew he was going to die. And why didn’t he call my sister or brother. It’s this barrage of questions that don’t get answered and in the midsts of that “dream” I started to cry. The next thing I knew I was shaking, and sobbing, and tears had wet my face, my shirt and my pillow. I was up.  And all I could think was, I’ve NEVER woken up crying before. My next thought was to think what triggered it and I remembered my father had been sitting on the bed communicating with me.. and when I looked there. It felt like he was still there.. but then it soon faded..

I… have been fascinated by psychic gifts since I was little, read about past life regressions, psychic experiences and other things people might consider “abnormal”, I have never seen spirits, or ghosts. I have aunts and other family members who do…But I know things. I have had dreams that happened the next day. Many experiences of déjà vu. But NEVER, have I ever seen or talked to or felt someone who had passed on before. I hate the word passed on.

But I don’t know what to attribute that experience to. I don’t want to analyze it too much. I’m good at that. I want to leave it the way it is. If anything. I felt a little better. I was feeling a little down before that. I told my sister and my bf about it. My sister has seen and talked to my father before. I’ve just been full of questions for a year.

Maybe it’s the reassuring I needed. Maybe…just maybe.

I don’t want to discredit it. But at the same time, I have nothing else to compare it to.

Interesting enough, yesterday’s message was about. Faith.

Go figure.