time for a change....

after re-reading some previous entries and a comment from a nosey friend.. hahah! i have begun to think.. perhaps.. my proclivity... (I like that word) to default to the negative may make it seem like i am lonely lonely confused crazy girl.. which is not exactly true.. it's been a crazy few weeks.. where i have allowed myself to really feel my loneliness.. and that sucks.. the truth is.. i like to be happy and don't take too much time focusing on the sad.. cuz.. i did that for years.. new me.. hey!!! my new year begins next tuesday.. i guess it's time for new resolutions..

but b4 we go there.. a few definitions...
loneliness

n 1: the state of being alone in solitary isolation [syn: solitariness] 2: sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned [syn: forlornness, desolation] 3: a disposition toward being alone [syn: aloneness, lonesomeness, solitude]

uhhh... i would like to say this hasn't been me... but.. it has been.. kinda.. while i have begun to blossom in some areas of my life.. namely socially... i have finally realized.. i know some really cool people.. and i guess i am finally at that place where i wanted to be.. not sitting home.. chilling, but out doing stuff and being me and having happy.. (yes i meant that)
But since i'm being all open and what not with who knows... i'll tell you.. in a one on one.. kinda relationship wise situation.. the #2 definition is correct and applicable.. forsaken and abandoned.. may be a bit extreme.. but it's how i see it.. if the person you thought cared about you... blocked you, stopped talking to you and went away.. like across the country to the opposite coast You'd feel the lonely too.. so uhh.. yeah.. Ok.. that's it.. no more wallowing..
Thanks.. for the wake up call nosey :P
But the funny thing is.. when idiot boy formerly referred to as jackass in a previous post left, I was never alone.. Fam came in and filled that void.. new opportunities arose to expand my horizons aka have fun /get out .. so i never really had time to wallow until i was at work.. which is where i do my best writing.. I better always keep a job. ;)

back to work.. got work to do...